The Prime Timer Organization

This sketch can not attempt to provide a detailed history of Baldwin’s founding of Prime Timers, and the growth since it’s inception, which is a project in itself. Undoubtedly the organization thrived because of the initial leadership by Woody. His management style; to delegate responsibility from the onset, to throw out an idea and let it run, and his willingness to relinquish control were are determining styles. And he had the charm and wit to keep people interested.

Woody Baldwin was 67 when he started Prime Timers, which he says was the equivalent of a full time job for the first 5 years. He ranks his students and Prime Timers as his proudest achievements and says he never considered himself an activist, but he was more of one than he realizes. Never having been one to just sit around at home, he had begun directing his attention to needs of the elderly during his last few years at Simmons and was even elected as head of the Council on Aging in Reading, MA. After retirement, Baldwin wasted no time on pursuing a new goal.

Professor Baldwin had sworn an oath to himself in the early 1980’s that when he retired he would do something more for the gay rights movement. He had been unable to participate in this movement while holding a professorship. Woody had a lady friend, in Boston, who was very much an activist in the equal rights movement in the 1980s. Woody told her he would like to offer twenty hours a week in volunteer services for some kind of associated organization and she introduced him to someone else who said he was exactly what they wanted and that they would call. After some time, Woody realized the call wouldn’t come. Undaunted, he approached a different organization with an identical offer and elicited an identical response. Once again, the call never came. The same experience was repeated with a third group. "Ageism," says Woody, "is one of those things you know about, but you think: it will never happen to me."

After the third tacit rejection, Woody realized ageism was happening to him and decided to go where he was wanted — to seniors' groups. One of the groups he worked with was LEGACY (Lesbian and Gay Aging Concerns), a group for older gay men and women, organized by, then Boston Mayoral Gay Liaison, Ann Maguire. To Woody’s disappointment, LEGACY meetings drew an average of only four or five men. Convinced that the poor turnout was due to LEGACY's inability to attract men, and not to the lack of a need for a social organization for older men, he decided to found a group that would respond more directly to the concerns of older gay men. He shared his idea with Ms Maguire, who gave her encouragement.

Around the same time, Woody joined an exclusive men’s retirement club. He and Sean O‘Neill got some ideas from that organization that would later be valuable in setting up Prime Timers. They also were going to New York bars which catered to the older crowd and discussed the idea with friends and patrons there. As all these factors came together, Woody got the idea that a social organization conceived for older men to enjoy one another’s company just might be the thing, so he decided to establish some kind of fully organized group to address the needs and wants of older gay men. While the organization would primarily be a social, educational, and recreational one, Woody also hoped it would have subtle political effects on younger gay men. “Younger people would see older people as active and interested, that they liked to do things, and that they cared about one another. Through increased visibility, the new generation might see that they can still have fun when they’re over forty,” said Woody. This philosophy has proven true and many chapters of Prime Timers now include members who are under the age of forty.

“Where do you go to socialize if you're a mature gentleman and not necessarily into the bar scene?" asked Woody. He put an advertisement in several newspapers, hoping that he might get about 20 or 25 people together for an organizational meeting. The day, August 15, 1987, turned out to be the hottest and most humid day of the summer. All older people were advised to stay indoors; not to go out because of the hot weather. Woody pragmatically reduced his self-made goal for attendance. He had, to his delight, 42 persons show up at that first meeting and it just took off after that. What was expected to be just a small local club turned into a rapidly growing large-scale organization.

Only the members of the older generation of homosexuals are privileged to understand what the sexual liberation movement of the sixties did, how it enriched the gay experience, how it brought about the ability to live somewhat normal lives. Today's young people have not had to live, to the extent the older generation did, in the dreadful fear of discovery, which in itself would almost surely ruin a career, alienate the family and turn the well-meaning upstanding citizen into a leper-like loner. Today's gay men enjoy freedoms that yesterday's young men could only imagine.

Woody declares that “one of the largest problems of keeping an organization growing is getting the word out to potential members that the organization exists. With this group of men, it is difficult to reach potential members because of the make-up of the membership. Mature men in the community tend not to socialize in the mainstream. They do not just drop by and pick up the gay newspapers at the bars.” Baldwin says, “The ones who need the social interaction the most are the hardest to reach. Some members had essentially withdrawn from socializing, but being involved with Prime Timers reacquaints them with the community.” One must also note that in those days there was no personal computer networking such as we have today and even no computerized mailing lists.

Woody points out that there is still a long way to go before gays can be accepted as occupying a normal place in society. But even the liberated gay society has in general turned its back on the folks who endured the greatest hardships; who fought the first battles for freedom. If the guys who fought back at Stonewall are living today, they are probably in their 70s at least. Heroes? They should be. They are written in the legend, but if today they walked into a bar populated with today’s young men they would be invisible. Not only are older men not respected, they are even made to feel unwelcome in their own society.

“The battle is still on for freedom of sexual orientation and equal rights for all,” Woody expounded in a 1990 interview. “As older men, we have one more battle to fight. While one minor issue is that older men often feel unwelcome in the bars; that issue is easily overshadowed by such events as the loss of a lover and/or the discovery of coming out late in life — where to go and what to do? Prime Timers was conceived to address that need, to provide those men with companionship!” Members now find this at the monthly general meetings, or at the weekly or monthly breakfast/lunch/dinner meetings, or the numerous party, museum and theatre events. Woody saw a need existed within society and did something about it. He knew he couldn’t change the whole perception of the society towards older gay men, but that by changing the way they and their younger comrades perceived themselves; he could impact, albeit slowly, a "sea change" in attitude and behavior. Woody says, “In the battle to bring the older gay man the acceptance he deserves, one person can make a difference.” Here, he says, is the important message: “It is within our grasp to be the generation that brought respect to older homosexual men.”

Woody comments that starting the organization did, in a small way, erase a guilt feeling he had about the fact that others were fighting the battles for his rights. Professor Baldwin was forced to remain hidden to preserve his livelihood and position in society. But, that was not the motivation, merely a side benefit. Even though he feels he has realized only a fraction of what he wanted to achieve, Woody does have the satisfaction of having started a worldwide network of Prime Timers chapters. He is now able to say, "I made a contribution," and relates that “because of Prime Timers my retirement years are richer than I ever dreamed possible, and I am sure I am a much younger septuagenarian than I would have been if I had not embarked on this life-enriching commitment.” While we certainly would not consider Woody as being super-human, we must admit he is definitely an extraordinary man!

Woody took note of the fact that in this country there are many lonely older men who have lost their long-term mates and desperately need to meet other similar men to share their experiences and to lighten their loads. Those men can't discuss their loneliness with family the way straight people are permitted to. He also realized that there are many lonely older male couples who hunger for companionship of other simpatico men of their vintage. Many men have become very bitter toward gay society. Rejection is not easy to take with a smile. But Baldwin felt if enough of us decided we could make a difference by bringing acceptance to the older men in our community, we could make life a lot more rewarding — not only for our own generation but for coming generations as well.

At the very first meeting, in Boston, Woody issued a challenge to the members to think of an adequate name for the new organization. At the next meeting, 18 names had been submitted. Woody said that he was going to use his authority (which he says he really didn't have) to eliminate three of those names. The group was not going to be called the "Old Farts," were not going to be called the "Gray Ladies," and were not going to be called the "Wrinkle Rockers." There was a lot of discussion; some did not want the word "Gay" in the name; some did not want the word "Older" in the name. The name was chosen on the first vote. Sean O’Neil, Woody’s partner, is proud to claim that 
Prime Timers was his suggestion, a fact not many folks are aware of. Woody agreed it was a very upbeat name — there was a suggestion of older guys, and nothing to suggest gayness negativities — and it seemed to satisfy everyone. Baldwin himself coined the motto: “Have you hugged a Prime Timer today?”

New York was the next chapter to form and when Sean and Woody moved to Austin they started a chapter there. By 1991, they had enough chapters that Dick Bourbeau, from the original Boston chapter and the first official the first international vice president, suggested a "convention" in Provincetown and the conventions were born. The convention includes a business meeting, a board meeting, board elections, educational seminars on topics of interest (for instance, “Issues facing gay and lesbian seniors,” or “Four legal documents every gay man needs,” “or How to grow your chapter,” etc); dinners and entertainment, and an opportunity to renew old acquaintances and make new ones. They usually have a meeting of chapter presidents (or their representatives) so they can have an opportunity to meet and compare practices. Other regular national gatherings were slowly added and regional events also sprang into being. The larger events include Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Halloween trips to Provincetown sponsored by the Boston Chapter, the Labor Day gathering sponsored by the Oklahoma City chapter, and the formal black tie dinner/dance New Year's Eve celebration sponsored by the Desert chapter in Palm Springs, California, although the later has been on hiatus for a couple of years due to “technical” difficulties. The 1999 Beaux Arts Ball was the last one. It died when Wayne Paterson stepped down as President of the Prime Timers chapter in Palm Springs. Woody is hoping Patterson will run again as President — that he is an example of how a strong President can truly change the vibrancy of a chapter.

At the same time that the conventions began, the seed of the idea to create a more organized structure was planted — the club had grown too large for Baldwin to run alone. In 1993, with his extensive business expertise, Professor Emeritus Baldwin set up a business structure as a federation of autonomous chapters, a slate of officers and a governing board to carry out those tasks which were beyond the scope or capacity of individual chapters, and to provide continuity and leadership for the organization as a whole. He then stepped down as the sole president and the new board began to manage the organization. Woody is an honorary board member for life.

Early on in the organization’s history Dick Bourbeau developed the concept of adding an educational program to the normal meeting — expanding on the “social only” concept — and having a presenter. Topics might be investment, health, ageing, and so forth. At conventions the organization puts on two or three workshops on related subjects. The educational inclusion allowed for the application of non-profit status at the State level and eventually achieved non-profit status at the Federal level.

The movement to bring dignity to older men started in many small ways in the 1980’s. Woody Baldwin brought to fruition the largest self-managed organization for this purpose. Prime Timers Worldwide board exists only to help the chapters do best whatever they want to do. Each chapter, therefore, has its own bylaws, age restrictions, name of newsletter, etc. Every chapter is different and we think that is a strength. Certainly the gay community of New York City is far different from that in Mineral Wells, Texas. “So,” says Woody, “shouldn't their chapters reflect the community?” The monthly newsletter still keeps the membership informed of scheduled activities. All members are still guaranteed as much confidentiality as they desire. All members are encouraged to support charities of their own choosing, but Prime Timers itself is not considered a charitable organization. The leadership never discourages participation in other facets of gay life, but as an organization we do not sponsor such participation. While the organization is primarily social, members often find themselves getting more interested in gay political issues as they re-enter the gay world.

“The hope is that nobody be excluded from enjoying the benefits of Prime Timers because of limited financial means," commented Woody. “We try to keep dues as low as possible (only to cover costs of printing, mailing, etc.) as we do not want anyone to have to forego participation because of financial restraint.” Woody attributes the rapid growth to need. There are many older gays who are aging without a partner and many who have lost their partner through death or other reasons. There are also many who never realized they were gay until they were older. “We don't push guys to come out," adds Baldwin. “The members determine how much if any info about them is contained in their listing. We feel that anonymity, if desired by the individual, must be protected at all costs.”

Some chapters have fallen apart on the subject of sexual activities being directly related to the chapter. When a group caters to a class (such as "gay" and "bisexual"), it would be naive to assume that there will not be instances of sexual behavior. “But,” Baldwin says, “at our general meetings mention of sex is never made except perhaps as humor.” As the Prime Timers of The Desert, one of the largest chapters, posts on their Web site: “Prime Timers of the Desert is a social club for mature gay males, providing opportunities for its members to meet, socialize and make new friends. It is strictly social. There are no sexual references or links on this site, and no sexual activity of any kind at our events.” The current Worldwide board is struggling with how to discipline those chapters who fail to maintain the guidelines set forth, a not uncommon occurrence with any large diverse organization. [See the full oped article here.]

Most chapters have, as a part of their roster, an opportunity for the member to indicate his interests in a number of activities. These generally include some sexually-oriented interests such as nudity, sexual focus, etc. When chapters have come to Woody for advice he tells them, in regard to sexually themed events; “Let those who want to participate do so as a non-chapter sponsored event. In other words, it is not advertised in the newsletter. If there are those who wish to have a nude gathering; they can check the membership roster to find persons who have checked nudism, and contact them individually.” He sees this as no different than a person trying to find a bridge foursome. That is what the roster is for. Woody adds, “In our Austin chapter, as I hope is true of other chapters, this does not rule out having other organizations that cater to gays speaking to the group about their activities.” As one visitor said, "It could be a meeting of the Rotary."

The growth of the organization also presented structural and leadership difficulties which nearly caused the complete failure of the organization, and resulted in a group split off from the main worldwide organization. In the early 1990’s, when the International Organization was still young, a negative, hate-generating administrator managed to become President by forcing the nominated President to quit in disgust. He then stacked the board with “yes men” and proceeded to try to make the organization a profit center for his own benefit and to commercialize the group. The initial direction was lost and Woody and some of the original group found the only way they could return to the positive, upbeat, loving organization that Prime Timers had always been was to dissolve the organization and then start a new one. The by-laws and rules didn’t allow any other solution.

When Prime Timers Worldwide was established under the leadership of Cal Hackler in November, 1996, they vowed to take the high road and sent a request to all the existing chapters asking them to officially join the redone organization, and hence the word "original" remained in the corporate name. During 1996 about 25% of the chapters had been lost (more were anticipated effective January 1 and almost 50% of the independent members were gone.) Everything the founders could anticipate that would again restore the original values, to love, to care and to have fun together, and insure against another "bad apple" syndrome was built into the new bylaws. Prime Timers Worldwide carried all the "international members" of Prime Timers International until June 30, 1997, at which time they hoped those members would also choose to join Prime Timers Worldwide, as had 90% of the chapters. Most did and all but one chapter finally joined the new organization. So there is still a small organization called Prime Timers International, located in Southern California, but there appears to be no hold-over hard feelings between the groups now.

The above often elicits the question: "But don't you get some undesirables when you have such an open door policy?" The answer is "yes" but they usually discover early on that they don't fit and weed themselves out. There have been a few occasions when chapters had to refund the membership fee of individuals and ask them to resign. But those few instances are far overshadowed by the rich opportunity of meeting all types of gay men from all professions, educational backgrounds and social classes

Woody said, “Creating and working with Prime Timers has been one of the most satisfying experiences a person could have.” This is not to say there have not been a few speed bumps, but they were minor ones. Tears usually roll down Baldwin’s face when a Prime Timer expresses gratitude for an organization which has changed his life for the better. Baldwin told AAA News he constantly hears remarks like, "Prime Timers turned my life around." and "PT is the best thing that happened to us in our 20 years together." or “PT has helped me to feel okay about getting older."

“I want you to know, Woody, that you saved my life.” Woody was startled to hear after he had addressed one of the chapters. Woody replied, “I did what?” The fellow continued with a message similar to this:

I was on the verge of suicide I was so depressed. I was 66 years old, alone, unattractive I thought, no close friends (only distant relatives who were too busy with their own families to care about a bachelor uncle), gay, no lover, not even someone I could call to have a drink with. My counselor said, “There is a social organization for older gay men called ‘Prime Timers’. If I find out where they meet, will you go?” What did I have to lose at this point? I went and four years later I’m the happiest I have ever been. Woody, you saved my life!

Baldwin commented in one interview, “I have had few occasions in my life that have touched me more. Could it be true that by starting Prime Timers I had actually saved this beautiful person's life! As I have visited chapters, this story has been told to me several times — only the details have differed. I hear things like: "I never needed a social calendar until Prime Timers because I had no place to go. Now I have a full social life and it is wonderful." Baldwin added that was comments like these that kept him working twenty to thirty hours a week on the club.

Woody has said many times, “I consider myself to be merely the person who turned the key in the ignition.” Baldwin observes that Prime Timers is unique because it is the only worldwide organization which focuses on older gay and bi-sexual men. He emphasizes the need to stick to that original simple purpose. Prime Timers, he asserts, must not fall into the temptation of reaching out to all gays regardless of age. Doing so would make it an ordinary gay organization, of which there are already so many.

In an interview with the Houston Prime Timers, Woody said, “I am still an honorary member of the Worldwide board, but I am getting so old that I don't take on as much responsibility as before. I am still greatly interested in the welfare of the Prime Timers and willing to do whatever I am able to do.” His advice to the organization, now that he can no longer fill the role of president at the national or the local chapter level, is for everyone to be an active participant. In particular, he declares, pay attention to who is elected president of the organization. He states that:

The president has the main role in setting the tone for the chapter. If he is happy, gregarious, compassionate, optimistic, then in all probability the chapter will be. If on the other hand, he is fault finding, gossipy, or negative, the entire chapter is in trouble. The president must always accentuate the positive, control the negative. Have fun, no matter what the task. The president must delegate, delegate, delegate: divide the work of the chapter into small tasks and hand them out to different persons so that no one (especially the president) feels overwhelmed.

Those words of advice are based on a long life of experience where they served Woody well, and provided the qualities that caused Prime Timers to be able to grow from the initial seeds planted in 1987. Woody wrote a manual for chapters with guidelines on a variety of issues. His opening remarks are:

Congratulations. You are embarking on what may be the most challenging, rewarding, and interesting experience of your life. You are responsible for leading your chapter in meeting the Prime Timers’ purpose of improving the lives of older gay and bisexual men, and those younger men who prefer the company of older men. You will be most effective if you keep your focus always on that goal. Such a focus will help to manage the “speed bumps” that are inevitable in any organization.