Life in Boston and Reading

A subtle change in tone comes over Woody when he speaks of his time at Simmons and in Boston. Aside from the sense of accomplishment he feels, and certainly deserves, from his position as Dean of Business at Simmons College, Woody also exhibits a certain fondness for those years in Boston. The times were exciting in themselves but Woody was also at the period in life when fullness of career, relationships, social networks, and vibrant health came together to create a pinnacle in his life. To relate this portion of his life the narrative must step back many years; to Woody’s move from the west coast to Simmons in Boston

The Simmons appointment started in the Fall and he drove to Boston in July, in order to get situated before the work commenced. On arrival in Boston in his red convertible, Woody relates the story about driving around trying to find the location of an apartment to rent. Boston, for those of you unfamiliar with the city, has a very confusing tangle of streets in certain areas, and many are defined now as one-way. At a particular intersection, when the light was still green, Woody stopped to sort out his direction and by the time he checked the light was red again. While looking around and reviewing the map on his lap, the light cycled through green and orange and red again. The fellow behind leaned out the window and in classic Boston accent yelled, "You only have three choices," With that Woody knew he was going to love it in Boston.

Amongst his many noted achievements within his VITA is that of author and publisher of "Boston Dines Out" under the pseudonym of Woody Hub, as probably the outstanding authority on Boston restaurants. Professor Woody Baldwin decided in the early 1960’s that Boston needed a restaurant guide, so he collaborated with his good friend Bill Bonomi to write, publish and distribute a booklet named "Boston Dines Out". They used the pseudonyms of Woody Hub and Bill Boston. Because Boston is known as the hub city, Bill Bonomi took the name Bill Boston and Baldwin became Woody Hub. The first issue went on sale in 1962, the second in 1964 and the final issue (72 pages) in 1966. Profits from this endeavor were negligible, but the expense of dining out (research!) was a welcome tax write-off and they broke about even with the financial costs. The authors tried to identify the most popular dining moods and needs, and the book listed restaurants accordingly.

The book was an attempt on the part of the authors to tell you about one segment of Bostonia in the hope that others might enjoy their home town. The book merits the classification of a labor of love. There were no fees or bribes pocketed by the authors for any listing. Only a handful of the restaurant owners even knew who they were and all the write-ups were done anonymously. They did not attempt to rank the establishments, nor any attempt to classify the restaurants by cost. They gave little attention to luncheons but included a hint as to the appropriate manner of dress. The closing paragraph reads:

All this is by way of saying we have dedicated ourselves to the task of helping you to find pleasure in dining out in Beantown. If this book accomplishes that objective, then all has been worthwhile. If not, we shall try next time to write a book on Tiselius Electrophoresis (whatever that is).

Woody did the writing and organized the material for the critique and did the planning on where they should go to eat. Bill proofed and organized the printing and distribution directly to book stores, hotels and gift shops. There was no other restaurant guide like it in Boston at the time. The partners made the unfortunate decision to involve a distributor in the third edition, which was becoming a phenomenal task, but the distributor failed to get books out on time and into shops. With that, and other new interests, Bill and Woody let the project go.  

Woody Baldwin loved the old, classic and historical environment of Boston and had three classic New England style apartments in Boston before he bought a house. Most of the apartments at that time were in buildings that had been elegant family houses in the old days. One flat was what had been the dining room in an old mansion. It had scads of wood paneling and stained glass windows. Woody loves wood! He also loved the waterfront of Boston and would often walk there on Sunday afternoons. He discovered that people were living in one of the old stone warehouse buildings and thought, "if someone lives on the waterfront it must be me". When the lease on the existing dining room apartment was up, he moved to a hotel to wait for a place in the warehouse to open, and one finally did. Woody loved that apartment. He could sit at the front windows and watch the fishermen unload their catch at the next wharf while he ate breakfast. He lived there for four years and says those were some of the happiest days of his young career in Boston.  

Woody quit drinking anything but a single drink when he was in Boston. The wharf building was a big party building. A fun party style at the time was the progressive dinner party; moving from one flat to another for each course of the meal, and usually with liquid libations along the way. Woody was partying with a regular group of fellows who would down a fair share of martinis before dinner during these progressive parties or when in somebody's home just before going out. Two weeks in a row, at the usual weekend gathering, he passed out from the alcohol and missed dinner. He had a "staff meeting" with himself and determined he had to cut his consumption to just one drink, and has continued that practice till the present day when he can't drink at all because of the various medications he is taking.

During the early years in Boston Woody spent most evenings at conferences, business association meetings, campus functions, and even adult education classes. He never brought work home though. In later years, when he settled down with a full home life, he removed himself from so much business night life and began to have a more active social life, often entertaining at the house and certainly eating at home more often as now it was not an empty home to return to each evening.

Woody eventually bought a house in Boston, a 5-story typical row house, the kind Boston is famous for, with a bay window on each floor. The address of the house was 98 Pembroke Street. It was full of renters (all older people) but he emptied the two top floors and made an apartment for himself. He spent $35,000 in remodeling (a lot of money in 1968) but was lucky to get a good contractor and carpenter. The carpenter was a 50-ish hippie, but a true artist who loved to work with wood. Yes, Woody and the wood again. This hippie carpenter would not tell you what he was going to do; he was creative and did his best when left alone to his own artistry.  

The building was in the South End section of Boston. The initial plan on the Pembroke apartment was to convert the building from multiple small units to two single floor flats, keeping one for himself and renting the lower flat. Over time he had managed to empty the apartments until only two old ladies remained. In Boston the rent control and eviction laws are very stringent and so Woody volunteered to help find an apartment for one of the ladies who was wheelchair bound. After extensive searching he still could not find anything affordable with access. The other little old lady was very disappointed in the proposed plan as she really liked him and said to a neighbor, "I just planned to spend the rest of my life with Mr. Baldwin." Well, that was all it took and between the two of them Woody gave up the idea of doing the conversion. But since no good deed goes unpunished, he ended up with a tenant who refused to pay rent and was impossible to evict and finally drove him crazy enough he decided to sell and buy a house in Reading. When Baldwin sold it in 1977 the price was $72,000. A friend sent him a clipping from the Boston Globe in January of 2006 to let him know it had just sold for $3,612,500!

Woody says more of his retirement income comes from his efforts in Boston fixing up houses and selling them, than from the retirement savings of his teaching career, even though he was a conscientious saver. During his early years at Simmons, from around 1968 to the early 1970's, there were areas of Boston going through gentrification. One could buy an old house or group of flats for a very reasonable price, make cosmetic changes, and sell it again for a tidy profit. The area Woody bought the Pembroke house in was such an area and the Pembroke house gave him his introduction to working with sub-contractors. He never attempted taking on projects with major structural problems and left plumbing and electrical to the sub-contractors. His talent was in paint and wallpaper and floors and window treatments. He refurbished three or four and invested most of the money, rolling it eventually into lifetime annuities which currently provide a good steady income steam in retirement. The remainder of the funds were used to buy a country get-away house in New Hampshire.

In the mid-seventies Baldwin bought a summer house in Londonderry, New Hampshire, about an hour’s drive north of Boston. Originally a summer home, the house had been winterized by the women who owned it previously. She had closed in the front porch and used that as the bedroom but when Woody bought it he converted the unfinished attic into the main bedroom and used the front porch for day use and evening guests use on a hide-a-bed. Although situated on not quite an acre, Woody had a sign made to hang on the house which read "God's little acre — more or less." When he eventually sold the property, a condition of the sale was that the sign stayed with the house.

The land was pretty remote but he often had visitors from Boston. It was not just a summer get-away and he would often drive up for just the weekend at any time during the year. Woody was without a car in Boston for a long time. There was no need since he could either walk or bus to work and parking was always a problem. Once he had moved into the Commercial Wharf, however, he was able to buy a car again, as there was ample parking, and having a car allowed him to consider the hide-away in Londonderry, New Hampshire.

The yard was not too manageable. Somebody had planted bamboo at one time and it was a constant battle to keep it under control. A small garden was attempted but it mostly fed the local animals. One of the things Woody liked to do while at the New Hampshire hide-away was to buy old trunks at auction for $1 or so, fix them up by relining them and adding a little paint or varnish and polish till they looked great. This was not a financial venture though, as he would just give them away.

When Woody had gone into the Army, he’d quit going to church and didn't pick up on it again until the move to Boston. While he was still a teenager, as a member of the strict Baptist church in Texas, adolescent testosterone levels carried him to such a state of constant passion: Woody had no alternative but to seek a new church. Young Woodrow didn't want his ticket to hell punched each time he even thought about that grossly sinful act of sex with someone else! At that early age he began to recognize that God was a God of love — hating people because of their sins just didn't cut the mustard. What could God possibly find objectionable about the natural needs of the human spirit, let alone a movie or a game of bridge? So, he moved to a more liberal church. He tried even another group in junior college but eventually drifted away from organized religion altogether.

Knowing no one in Boston and having nothing to do on Sundays, he thought maybe he was missing something. So, each Sunday Professor Baldwin would go to a different church. The only one that came close to meeting his needs was the Universalist, and Baldwin attended there for a while. Even though, in Boston he could now play cards, go to movies, dance, etc.; that monster "sex" was still threatening his chances of ever hob-knobbing with angels. It was through the Universalist church of those days that Baldwin came to the vivid realization that God saw no relationship between sex and sin as long as it was with a consenting adult. His understanding of religion evolved and allowed him to be happy; with no fears of a god who tolerates hate. The Universalist merged eventually with the Unitarian church but Baldwin had lost interest in the organized aspects again, although remaining still deeply religious and knowing he was loved by God. Woody did not get interested again until later when he moved to Reading, re-discovered the Unitarian-Universalist church and became very much involved for many years, attending regularly and even serving on a committee or two. The Unitarian-Universalist is still his religion of choice (his request is for a memorial service in the UU church in Austin) but he says, “I am so deaf now that I don't go because I can't hear the sermon.”  

Life in Boston wasn’t all just work. Woody pursued work and holidays with a passion similar to that with which he approached his career. Whenever he could combine business with vacation he did so. One time Baldwin drove his 1950 Chevy to a meeting he had in Denver and then continued on to one in Houston. After that meeting he drove out west, up the west coast, across the northern U.S. into up-state New York and finally back to Boston.  

On Woody’s' first visit to Mexico with his close friend Bill Bonomi, in the early Boston years, the holiday arrangements were eagerly established for Zocalo, in Taxco (spelling). A young Mexican boy enticed them to see the town from "up above." Not knowing what the young boy meant they followed him to the cathedral and up a narrow staircase to the cupola. Here the fellows had to step out onto a very narrow ledge, with no railing, and proceed around the tower to the other entry. They were so frightened they didn't dare look at the "view" and crawled around the dome facing it. At one point Woody froze and said to Bill, "I don't want to be out here. We shouldn't be out here." and was obviously very scared. Bill managed to convince him to keep working his way to the door and managed to get them down safely. Once on the ground Woody declared, we need to have a staff meeting." and they swore never to attempt anything like that again. He was adventuresome, but only within very safe boundaries.

In the early 1960's he liked to take bus tours. He did not have a car in Boston at the time. In those days the buses stopped at all the small towns and one got to see the locals and see how they lived. In the small towns one would buy the local paper and read it between stops. One such trip was through North Dakota, Montana and Wyoming. Another was a few days in San Francisco, then by bus up the coast, a few days in Portland, then again the bus to Seattle and a few days there before winding up with the ride to Vancouver and a few final days there. Woody said, “Buses in those days were very clean and the folks on board very nice. It was a great way to meet people and see different aspects of American life. It gave me a unique perspective.”

Woody began to attend Mardi Gras in 1978 and continued attending on a regular basis for decades. Each year the costumes became more elaborate and funny, always funny and humorous. Woody was made an honorary citizen of New Orleans in recognition of his attendance and participation and in the later years was recognized as one of the only seniors who continued to dress up for the occasion. His friend Sean O'Neil attended with him in later years but was always very last minute on preparing his costume, while Woody’s costume was always planned out well in advance.

Sometimes his work was the unique learning experience. His professional life (after college and the Army) was spent primarily in teaching. Woody had never had a 9-to-5 job. One summer he took a consulting job in New York City where he had to be in the office Monday through Friday from 9-to-5. The surge of activity caused by the crowded sidewalks and the subway was positive to him instead of negative. That experience brought to him, for the first time, a realization that he belonged to this huge thing called society. He said:  

I felt for the first time that I was filling my niche in the brotherhood of man. I can't explain it, it just happened! It may sound corny, especially to you guys who always had a 9-to-5 job. I loved the feeling that all these people (as I) were cogs in the machinery that made the world function. It takes all of us in our separate ways to make life work.

Woody began attending Elderhostel programs during his retirement, and beginning in 1985, he attended over 30 different sessions. The Elderhostel program is open to anyone over 60 and provides programs at hundreds of colleges, universities and educational institutions. The participants live on campus for a week or more and take up to 3 non-credit courses on a wide variety of liberal arts-and-sciences subjects, taught by the host institution’s faculty. Participants stay in a dormitory, eat in the campus dining facilities and have access to the educational, cultural and recreational resources of the host institution. Woody used the program as an opportunity to travel, that being more important than the courses, and as a way to meet people — taking more arts and crafts programs than ones in language or mechanical skills. He recalls attendance at David Elkins in West Virginia and Goddard College in Vermont; both in 1985. He went to the University of Wyoming in 1986 and San Francisco in 1988, with other years taking classes in Colleges in Georgia, Texas, Oklahoma, Santa Fe, New Mexico and Arkansas.

The camaraderie was as much fun as the class. At the close of the classes there was usually some kind of ceremony to concluded the session and during one session Woody prepared a mock “Valedictory” speech and excerpts are included below, to show the insightful humor he found in the groups:

 "What are Elderhostels?" From my teen-age vantage point, they seem to be groups of older people who find their spouses more tolerable when they can get them away from home. About ten years ago, a group of wives must have gotten together to try to find a way to get their retired husbands from underfoot; and someone came up with the idea of sending them to college for a while. This seemed like an excellent idea because the fringe benefit might be that the old geezers might learn something; and anything would be an improvement. But the guys came back with glowing reports about today's coeds, so a second meeting had to be called and it was decided the wives would go along. At least, the husbands would be underfoot in a different environment.

Planners must have heard that retirees get up very, very early, so the colleges serve breakfast at 6:30 a.m., an hour of the day that elders didn't even know existed until they came to Wyoming. After hours to Elderhostel planners means after 9 because elders all go to bed at 9. Well, as soon as the planners are satisfied that the old folks are ensconced in this puritanical environment, they leave and then the fun begins. The old forks start telling their dirty stories, recruiting one or two first-grade teachers who have a few after-hours stories of their own, and every one whoops it up until the undergraduates complain that the old folks are making too much noise and keeping them awake.

They learn things like the advantages and disadvantages of union seniority, how to treat their schnauzers and where to look for their lost hearing aids. And these senior citizens return home far more compassionate persons because they realize that people under sixty who can't go to Elderhostels are underprivileged and should be treated with compassion in the same way that young people pity seniors who are no longer able to enjoy going to work every morning at 9 a.m. So, if you have acquaintances who think that being sixty is over the hill, send them to an Elderhostel; and they just may very well conclude that life begins at sixty.

Woody would have to revise his speech these days to say life begins at sixty and continues well past eighty.

In 1977 Woody moved to Reading from Boston and lived there until his retirement move to Austin, Texas. He bought a classic 200-year-old house on a corner lot with ancient stone walls. The house was a two bedroom, two bath house with two small rooms which were used as offices. There was a very nice living room with a colonial fireplace and a dining room large enough to accommodate 12 for dinner. Although it was a landmark structure, and no exterior changes were allowed without town council approval, a screened side porch extension was added. Baldwin didn't know about the ordinance till after the project was completed, but nobody complained. The house had a big yard and they lived there for nine years. The house had very low ceilings, only 7 foot, and the basement ceiling was even lower. There was a hard hat hanging by the basement stairs since a trip down there invariable ended up with a head knock against something. The biggest advantage of the house might have been the very inexpensive price, especially compared to what he just sold the Pembroke house in Boston for. The house was also closer to the New Hampshire hide-away, but eventually, since it was more in the country than the Boston home, he sold the New Hampshire property.

Later in Reading he was enamored with a new development of condos created in the California ranch/abode style. But it was a mistake when he sold the house and bought a condo, because it turned out to be less comfortable than expected. As elsewhere he actively joined the association and became President soon thereafter. Prior to his tenure as President, the Association had been severely split into two factions, one side headed by the Secretary and the other side by the Treasurer. Nothing got done and meetings were quite acrimonious. In characteristic Baldwin fashion he civilized the meetings and got the Association on the right track for the 32 unit development.

One disadvantage of Reading was the commute into Boston while working and even in retirement this would have been an issue if his social circle had remained primarily Boston based. Woody is one of those who likes to be where the action is. Would living in Reading mean driving into Boston (15 miles) to go to the theater, a bar, and almost anything else? He compensated by developing a large circle of friends in Reading and the adjacent suburbs, and now that the environment was a little freer many of the friends were gays and lesbians. His social life centered primarily around these people. They would go to theater in Boston in groups of 20 or more and got special rates if there were as many as 20. Baldwin, as you may guess by now, was the arranger for many of these events, primarily because he was retired during his last 7 years in Reading.  

In Boston he had been on the advisory committee of the Cambridge Center for Adult Education. He had taken quite a few classes there and per his usual nature became engaged in the organizational aspects. Sequentially, In 1990 at age 70, Baldwin was chairman of the Council on Aging for the town of Reading, MA, and busy with the Prime Timers group (see below) which he had started in 1987.  

Woodrow Baldwin and John (Sean) O’Neill

The 1960s in the United States are perceived as a period of profound change. Attitudes to a variety of issues saw radical change. Historians refer to publication of “The Kinsey Report” and the invention of a birth control pill as significant factors in the changes to sexual attitudes and behavior during this period; often referred to generally under the blanket metaphor of the “sexual revolution.” Woody says he loved the sexual revolution of the 1960’s, the same as he supported most of the changes brought about by what is labeled as the social revolution. Woody considers the 1970’s to be his "good old days" from a sexual viewpoint. After having always lived in the fear of arrest and the resulting consequences, it was good to be able to have openly gay friends and meetings and so forth. He says, “Prime Timers is a perfect example of that; if we had held a meeting during the 1950’s like those we have now, we could have had it raided and all of us taken to jail.” For many of those likewise oppressed, the “sexual revolution” was true liberation.  

Although the term “revolution” implies radical change, this was not necessarily the case. The sexual revolution in 1960's America is better described as a dramatic shift in traditional values related to sex and sexuality. Sex became more socially acceptable outside the strict religious boundaries of heterosexual marriage. But, even in that time of unprecedented change, homosexuality was still widely publicly reviled, and more often than not, was seen as a malaise or mental illness — from the religious viewpoint, as a mortal sin — instead of a legitimate sexual orientation. Indeed throughout the 1950’s and 1960’s the overriding opinion of the medical establishment was that homosexuality was a developmental maladjustment. Homosexuals were characterized as predatory deviants, who were dangerous to the rest of society. Between 1956 and 1965 several states sought out these so-called “deviants” within the public system with a particular focus upon teachers. This persecution of gay teachers was driven by the popular belief that homosexuals damaged vulnerable young people. Many of those beliefs persist to this day.

Woody says, “I don't know when I knew I was gay. Actually, I’ve always considered myself bisexual, as I love women and have had quite a few escapades with women along the way.” He doesn't recall feeling guilty or remorseful about it. But keeping that facet of his life private was especially important in the field of education at that time. Woody says about teaching, as a homosexual:

By the time I was mature enough to appreciate the pros and cons of being gay; I was experienced enough to realize it was my lifestyle and so be it. I realized I had to keep it a secret to be able to function and contribute to the society in which I lived. I spent the next 50 or so years living with that aspect of my life concealed. Until the sexual revolution of the 1960’s and 1970’s, it was very scary. If caught (or even suspected) your whole education, career, family relationships, etc. could go down the drain in a second. I don't think there was a difference in the level at which you taught — elementary or college. Homosexuality was just bad, really bad, and could not be tolerated except in certain professions. Education was not one of them. Fortunately, I never was caught, or even suspected, to my knowledge.  

One did not have to be found guilty to be forever barred from teaching. Just suspicion was enough to get you relieved of your profession. He comments, “The sexual part of my life was never and has never been an all consuming aspect of who I am.”

“My career, and the business and social lives thereby entailed, were very important to me.” says Woody, “The nature of the times was such that I could not be open about my private life. I am, as far as I know, completely non-judgmental and open-minded about the sexual thoughts and actions of other people. I am sure we have all done things in the past that we would not want to discuss with our best friends, let alone with a casual acquaintance.”  

Woody, who found himself in the uncomfortable position of being a Professor with this frame of reference, the only way to participate in what for him was a normal sexual orientation meant travel to New York City where he was not a well-recognized public figure. In that city, he was far enough away that his entire career was not as acutely in jeopardy. But it was not entirely safe to go out in New York in those days. During that period New York was so “hot” that bars were being raided and people arrested. Police raids on gay bars were frequent—occurring on average once a month for each bar. The now famous raid on the Stonewall Bar, on a Saturday in June of 1969, became a symbolic call to arms for many. In the mid-1960s, more than 100 gay men were arrested every week in New York City.

One enterprising gay fellow had bought a brownstone in New York and made it into a private club. Woody says he never understood why this particular private club was immune to raids and subsequent arrests, but it lasted until Mayor Lindsay was re-elected. At this club Woody met the love of his life, Sean O’Neill, the man with whom he eventually lived for the next 37 years. Just a few weeks shy of Woody’s 47th birthday, February 25th 1967, Woody Baldwin and Sean O’Neill were introduced, by a fellow who had met both of them on different occasions at a straight nudist camp in Pennsylvania. Woody says, about the first meeting with Sean, “I guess you would call it love at first sight. We were delightfully happy for 37 years.” His close friends in Boston agree; commenting that prior to meeting Sean, Woody had always been a reasonably cheerful and fun guy, but that after Sean came into his life Woody became radiantly happy. He had been in Boston for 11 years before he met red-cheeked Sean. He continued to date women with some seriousness until he met Sean, but after that his relations with women were purely social.  

After the first introduction, Woody took the initiative and wrote a very short note to Sean: "Someone likes you. It may be [and here is pasted a return address sticker.] Woody still has the small note. He looked for a reply and was surprised, having expected perhaps a longer note, but happily pleased, to get Sean's note which read; "I hope so." Sean's handwriting was terrible and kept him from writing lengthy responses during their letter writing courtship, when they wrote nearly every day. Woody replied with an invitation to Sean to come to Boston and the courtship commenced, lasting for six months till Sean left New York for Boston. During the courtship they didn't talk by phone a lot, instead they wrote each other every day. They were back and forth between weekends in New York and Boston and missed only one weekend together during that period.

Woody spoke of his relationship with Sean: “Our different personalities was probably what caused us to have such a happy relationship; we complemented each other, and both of us lived better lives because of it. I sped him up and he slowed me down and that was what both of us needed. We were the epitome of opposites attracting.” He thinks one reason they were able to have such a long and happy life together was, although they had a shared life together, both still respected each other's rights to have a private life. He says, “We were always 100% supportive of each other's activities.”

When they met, Sean was very shy and full of inferiority complexes. He changed jobs frequently because he could not ask for a raise or approach the boss on anything. O’Neill would just go to lunch one day and not show up again. He lived in New York in near poverty. Sean allowed himself one beer a week at a gay bar and would make that beer last all evening. Sean was very thrifty, a good saver and budget keeper and kept up their bargain on managing living costs throughout their entire relationship.

Because of Sean’s shyness, and never staying on a job very long, changing jobs was simple enough for O’Neill. But Sean wanted to discuss financial arrangements before he agreed to move to Boston as Professor Baldwin would be making much more than he ever would. Woody told O’Neill all he asked was that Sean work and make up the difference between Baldwin living alone and Sean living with him. That was the last time in 37 years finances were ever discussed between the two. After moving to Boston, Sean got a job at a bank in Boston and stayed there 10 years, until Woody hired him away to help with “Woody's Goodies.” Woody had a hard time making Sean stay at his job at the bank. His boss was a real jerk yet he had a job that gave him a lot of independence. He was the head file clerk in the Corporate Loan Department. Woody thinks the stable relationship gave Sean a confidence he had not felt before and he retained the position because he felt secure at home.

Sean had virtually no self-confidence when he met Woody. On the other hand, Woody has always been a joiner and very active in professional organizations. He always appeared full of self-confidence. Sean saw stability in Woody while Woody wondered, for many of their 37 years together, how he was lucky enough to find Sean. One of Baldwin's life's great rewards was to watch Sean develop an assuredness and self-esteem. Sean saw in Woody, who was a strong persona, an opportunity to find an assurance of who he was. Woody saw the ability to make a difference. Some of Woody's Boston friends did not see Sean’s valued qualities initially and expressed their opinion that he was too unstable for Woody and would just be a drain on him. Over time they were proved wrong and people who met Sean later on took an immediate liking to him, his being a generally agreeable fellow.

Sean had a beautiful singing voice and he sang frequently at a piano bar Woody introduced him to. Prior to that he sang in the New Haven Opera Company while in New Haven High School, where he was from. Sean played classical harp for a time while in New York City before moving to Boston. At the Hotel Lenox lounge in Boston there was an older lady named Gladys who Woody knew because she played the piano for the dance classes at Simmons. Her attention-getting device in the lounge was to accompany amateur singers, and Woody encouraged Sean to sing there. O’Neill became a favorite of hers but also got along well with the other singers and was very popular with the audiences. It helped tremendously to bring him out of his inferiority complex. It was the first place where it was Sean and Woody, and not Woody and Sean. Baldwin liked that and encouraged it. Sean became much more social and Baldwin says, “Many of our friends preferred his company to mine.” Singing at the Lenox Hotel in Boston was pretty much based on his natural talent. He had a large fan following at the Lennox. When he was in the spotlight he transformed from shy to self-assured.

Gladys and Woody and Sean became very close friends and she played piano in the hotel lounge all during her seventies and until two weeks before she died, at 81 years of age. After each hospital stay, she would return looking more frail and feeble than before. When she entered the lounge, you wondered it she would make it to the piano. But as the evening progressed and she played and Sean and the other customers sang, she gained momentum and at closing time she was vibrant, healthy, happy, and was inviting people to her apartment for tea and cookies.  

Gladys loved music — all kinds. Sean sang his favorites from the Andrews sisters to Broadway and Pop and the ‘40s and ‘50s hit parade and a lot of Gershwin. The later was a big favorite of Gladys. She was a graduate of the New England Conservatory of Music, taught piano, accompanied, entertained and the list goes on. She really found her niche when she played in the lounge. She loved her singers and was happy in her role as "supportive musician". She considered her singers as her stars. Hats were her trademark. The lesson Woody says he learned from Gladys was to, “Have an interest, stay busy and think and act positively.” He said, "When I go, I'm going like Gladys."

The men would still travel down to New York on occasion and a standing ovation, or at the very least, raucous applause, would normally follow a bit of singing by Sean at the piano bar. This author was shown a tape of Sean singing at a gathering in 1993 in Vancouver and Woody told me, "That standing ovation meant I'd never be able to make him take out the trash again!" For video (handheld camera) of Sean singing at a gathering in 2001 please select the link: "I Love A Piano". 

As related by Woody, “An open long-term relationship between two persons, regardless of gender, has to be built on strong love and faith. If one or both of them worries that his partner might not come back to him, it will never work.” Woody was well aware of Sean's enjoyment of the nudist life. They had met through such a camp's associations in Pennsylvania. Not really as much an interest for Woody, this became Sean's bit of independence, a place to be on his own. One year (1993) they made a trip to Europe with the main destination being "Le Cap D'agde" This is a nudist town and although of interest, it was not Woody’s thing.

Although most of their vacations were limited by Sean’s work, the two made a particularly memorable holiday on the Mississippi River. Boarding the “Missouri Queen” for seven days, from St. Louis to St. Paul Minnesota. This was a rare route as the runs were usually from New Orleans to St. Louis. and only ran twice a summer. To make the trip last the full week on such a short run the vessel would tie up at night in small towns, where local entertainers would come on board to present a show. The local talent was a kick and the whole cruise made one appreciate what life was like for the small communities on the river. The cruise director arranged a costume party and Sean and Woody were prize winners, dressed as Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. They enjoyed the pleasure of sitting at the engineers table and had a grand view of transitioning the 27 river locks on the route.  

Woody was around 50 when, just for kicks, he and Sean took a night course in massage. This was before Sean’s stint at the bank and he was offered a one man massage studio in a motel in downtown Boston. It seemed to be a perfect deal. No rent, all linen furnished, etc. But it wasn't Sean's thing and it was making him extremely nervous so he gave it to a friend of theirs. Through Sean's short term, Carl's and another guy after Carl, Woody moonlighted Tuesday nights and Saturdays so they could have some time off. He enjoyed it but Carl's successor took two weeks off during Woody’s Christmas break at the college and he worked 8 hours a day and from that learned that it is something he would never want to do full time. Woody quit the studio shortly after that.  

As Woody told me in our interviews, “We [Sean and Woody] never spent a night alone unless we were on separate vacations. We were certainly in love and the faith that you won't be losing him to someone else made for a perfect relationship.” They traveled in the same social circles except when Professor Baldwin was obligated to attend straight affairs. They had many gay and straight friends. But still, some of the circles had to be kept separate in certain instances.  

Woody tells of the time when Sean and he appeared together at the Dallas-Fort Worth chapter of Prime Timers. The evening’s topic was how to have a long-term relationship. Before the question and answer period, they would make a brief statement about what each couple considered (there were 6 on the panel) the most important thing about a successful relationship and Sean said "trust". Woody commented to me, “Naturally I, being more wordy, said facetiously that the secret of our long time together was that Sean made all the mistakes. I might drop and break a plate while in the kitchen, and I'd yell to him who was in the back bedroom, ‘Goddamn it, Sean’. And he'd say ‘I'm sorry’.”

Woody thinks much of the success of the relationship should rightly be contributed to Sean being so sweet natured. Even among Baldwin’s family, the influence of Sean’s kind nature had it’s impact. After moving to Austin, Sean and Woody hosted a 17-person family reunion. O’Neill was present throughout the event and never felt any resentment or dislike on anyone's part. In later years, O’Neill was always included in any invitation Woody had to any of their homes. They were invited to the wedding of one of his brother's grandsons. When the photographer was around taking pictures after the ceremony, at one point Woody’s brother called him over and said, "I want you to take a picture of me and my two brothers." He stood between them and put his arms around both. Woody relates, “No one I can imagine being more straight than my brother. I was thrilled because I loved my brother very much. Sean loved him too.”

Woody and Sean thought of themselves as middle class, comfortable and well off but not wealthy. Woody was very protective of Sean's welfare and arranged his finances so Sean would be well cared for when he (Woody) passed away. But it didn't turn out that Woody went first and they had never really discussed or even considered the possibility things would turn out as they did because Woody was 9 years older. When Woody and Sean were first dating they were having a meal in a restaurant when a decrepit old man appeared at a nearby table. Unwashed, poor and downtrodden looking, Sean said that that was probably going to be his fate. That incident stuck strongly in Woody's mind and he made an inner and determined resolution that he would not let that happen to Sean.

In their relationship the men showed each other affection throughout the entire time they were together. Unlike many couples, who begin to forget to show physical affection and kisses during the normal comings and goings, the two maintained a romantic demeanor. Woody says he never thought of anybody else as a better option and that they never had shouting matches or showed any disrespect for each other. People who knew them over the years said that the two were entwined, almost seen as one person. Woody said he didn't realize, until after Sean had gone, how much of their life was a shared existence. They never fought or berated each other. Woody's method of chastising Sean, and he later adopted the same method, was a third person reference system. As example, they had a rule that nobody would leave clothing or leftover plates in the living room at night. On an evening when Sean left his shoes there, the next morning’s comment by Woody would be, "You're not going to believe it, but somebody left shoes in the living room." This humorous 3rd party scolding worked well throughout their relationship.

Woody cooked when they were in Boston and Reading since he was the one who got home earlier. He collected easy recipes and never attempted anything fancy for meals or desserts. The exception might be a fancily decorated layer cake for the 4th of July. Their entertainment style was also not overly elegant and fussy and they did entertain a fair amount. Perhaps the fanciest Baldwin got was a party at the Commercial Wharf apartment, which was a big party complex, using a black tablecloth with white plates and red napkins. A party at Woody’s flat could include 100 people.  

Woody’s idea of a fancy dessert was called a "Dump" cake. The gist of the recipe being that you simply dumped all the ingredients in the pan you were planning on baking the cake in, stirred it up, and set it in the oven. Even though Woody was not a spectacular gourmet cook, Sean never complained about the cooking and the reason might rise from a story related by Woody:  

When Sean’s father was first married, his wife tried to cook his breakfast, and he complained that the eggs were not done to suit him; so she told him he could cook his own eggs and he did for the rest of his life. Sean learned from this arrangement to never complain about someone else’s cooking. The incident may have worked to my advantage because Sean never complained about my cooking no matter how bad it was.

Once they moved to Austin Woody called a "staff meeting" and dictated that now Sean would have to do half of the cooking. But neither of them really liked cooking and eventually they abandoned the effort and ate out most of the time. Austin was the first time they were with each other 24 hours a day but they adapted well to the new arrangement.

The AIDS epidemic impacted Baldwin and O’Neill the same as others who were lucky enough to avoid infection. They lost many good friends to the disease. The reasons for visiting New York frequently were squashed, so they spent more time in Boston and the surrounding areas. "The AIDS epidemic scared the hell out of us," said Woody. "For a few years we had to stop having relationships with each other until the testing procedure, still primitive at first, revealed that both of us were clear of danger." Woody commented that the pulling together of the gay community (especially the lesbians who were not affected) was phenomenal. Both Woody and Sean did volunteer work with AIDS projects. Sean, until he died, worked in a food kitchen and Woody kept up his volunteer time also, until his legs started to deteriorate and he could no longer work. He volunteered at Project Transitions, an AIDS project in Austin and was awarded for his outstanding work at the Top Drawer Thrift Store. His friends and associates continue to find him worthy of special honors.

Early on in the relationship a financial advisor indicated it was better, from an estate management standpoint, to simply keep all the property in Baldwin’s name. He did change to a revocable trust arrangement at one time but it would have made Woody's savings inheritance go to Sean's distant relative should he pass away first. Woody was uncomfortable with losing control of his ability to bequest portions of his estate and the men reverted back to simple wills. Initially Sean had arrangements to leave things to his nephew, since he expected Woody to pre-decease him, but later, when it was apparent he might not, changed to leave everything to Woody. None of the inheritance discussions were ever difficult or petulant. They communicated well and could easily explain one another's side on an issue. The resolution was always based on the health of the relationship, not on the need to make a point or win an argument. As they grew closer together, they just left everything to the other.  

Woody was the “decider” but he accomplished this by giving Sean two or three choices. Although Sean was obviously not the head of the household, he was not subservient to Woody. The relationship was an equal participation, but with Woody usually being the lead. Both men were avid readers and would be found more often curled up with a book than in front of the TV. Neither gentlemen was big on watching a lot of TV.  

Woody met John T. "Sean" O'Neill when he was 47 and Sean was 38 and they shared a life together for over 37 years. Woody refers to Sean as having left, not as having died or passed away. Although Sean was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, the real cause was probably from asbestos poisoning. As a child the family lived near an asbestos plant in Connecticut and the proximity of the plant exposed Sean to very high concentration of the toxic substance. Eventually the plant was shut down because of this, and there were a few law suits successfully pursued, but in Sean's case the damage was already done and the symptoms had appeared too late for any monetary compensation. He was also diabetic and that had further weakened his system.

In Austin, Sean and Woody attended “Slam Poetry” readings, which was a weekly contest held in different clubs. Woody’s loss of hearing has made it impossible to continue to attend. When Sean died the group arranged the entire memorial program. They prepared all the food, arranged the hall, and one fellow, who had been asked ahead of time by Sean, gave the eulogy. The group canceled their regular performance so they could have the memorial on the regular night and therefore allow all the regulars to attend.  

Woody says the only time they ever argued was near the end, when he was trying to get Sean to switch to a different doctor. Woody didn’t think he had been getting good care for the last few years, from their then current physician, and still feels that with better care Sean might have had a few more years. Woody wanted no new relationship after Sean left. He feels he is too old to give anybody a good relationship as the time would be too short and he doesn’t want to be a burden to anybody. The author of this sketch disagrees and feels Woody is still very capable of providing a good partnership, but that view is from my limited perspective. Woody has been right about so much in his life one would suppose he knows himself well enough for this decision too. Sean’s and Woody’s ashes will be co-mingled in the grave plot in Austin and both names will be on the gravestone. This is fairly new for somewhat conservative Texas.

“Woody’s Goodies” — The Popcorn Professor 

Assured and dignified, Professor Baldwin serves each customer with dispatch, a ready smile, and a courteous "Thank you!" The headline of the Daily Evening Item, Lifestyle Section (Lynn, Massachusetts) reads: “Woody Baldwin taught college business for 36 years. Now he sells popcorn.” Professor Baldwin retired early, in 1982 at 62 years old, but wanted to try his hand at running a business. For years Dr. Baldwin had taught how to run a business, and now wanted to see if he could manage one himself. He had a few parameters: he wanted it to be small, he wanted it to be outside, and he wanted it to be in a people environment, thus “Woody’s Goodies” was formed. It's a career he chose with great care, after much planning.

"I retired early so that I could work at something different for about three years afterward," Baldwin said. "I knew I no longer wanted to teach and I did not want to be a consultant. I wanted to be free in January, February and March, and I wanted to be outdoors." He got a glimmering of his final choice one day in Minneapolis. Another important plus: he meets new people and makes new friends. "It's really a social thing," he says. His business objective is modest: "To earn enough money to maintain my standard of living."

"If I were to give a lecture on second careers," Woody says, harking back to his days in the classroom, "I'd first point out that people of retirement age probably won't find what they're looking for in classified advertisements or employment agencies. I'd suggest that others try what I did; I made a list of the things I thought I'd like to do. Then I did market research. For instance, one possibility that appealed to me was selling hot dogs and such at special events, such as Little League ball games, so I visited the police chiefs in a number of neighboring towns and asked them about it. They discouraged me — too much competition already in place.

"The popcorn idea occurred to me long before I acted on it, on a trip to Minneapolis where I saw two girls selling popcorn from a fancy cart and thought ‘Gosh, that looks like fun.’ At that time, I didn't go any further with it. But later, I read a book on changing careers that said you should decide what you want to do and then sell somebody on the idea. I remembered those young women in Minnesota, and decided to write a letter to the president of Filene’s [Department Store], asking him if I could set up a ‘popcorn boutique’ outside his store, and he ended up saying yes." For a small initial investment ($2,000 for the cart, complete with electric popper and green awning, and $200 for supplies), he's established a going business well suited to his present aspirations and needs.

“After 36 years of telling people how to run a business, I wanted to see if I could do it myself," Baldwin says. "Now I know I can. I have everything here that you would in any business, except on a smaller scale, like cash flow problems, ordering supplies, forms to fill out for my employee." The notion that a person's second career need not be circumscribed by past trade or profession, that it can and indeed should be fun seems to strike many with the force of revelation. "You're an inspiration!" a doctor from Wisconsin told Woody

Once people knew his background as a college professor, Baldwin attracted a lot of attention. Former students and colleagues visited him at his unconventional new post and spread the word. A story appeared about him in the nationwide business magazine "Saga," and he was featured on NBC's "Today" show [link]. After the Today Show he became an overnight celebrity, an experience he thoroughly enjoyed. Baldwin said of his notoriety as the Popcorn Professor, "It was almost as much a social experience as a business." People from as far away as Europe, South Africa, and the Caribbean come looking for Woody, eager to buy a cup of popcorn and discuss his ideas about retirement.

Despite his reluctance to do consulting work, Baldwin found himself becoming a “sidewalk consultant" to people who sought him out for advice. Many people told him his decision to work at something completely different gave them new hope for their own retirement plans. Soon after he started he needed help. He experimented with hiring teenagers but they proved less than satisfactory. John O'Neill, a 54-year-old friend in the banking business, told Woody he was looking for a way out of a dead-end job. "So I hired him away from the bank," Woody says with a smile. "I gave him the title of General Manager. It's worked out very well. He loves the popcorn business as much as I do, and we work very well together. I don't know what I'd do without him."

The popcorn business also suited his vacation and location parameters. He was out in the fresh air, and kept to his self-imposed climate condition limits — you didn't look for him in the rain or when the temperature was under 45 or over 90, and he took the winter off. The only complaints he ever gets is when he doesn't show up because of weather. "You weren't here yesterday," went one complaint from a secretary, "and my boss was very grumpy!"

How about status, some visitors ask. Isn't the switch from professor to street vendor a bit of a comedown? On the contrary. He obviously enjoyed the change. This can be seen, in the video of the Today Show, when he bursts into delighted laughter as he recalls an interview with a teenage bystander during the filming of the sequence. "Would you believe that fellow selling popcorn was a professor of management at a prestigious college?" asked the NBC interviewer. "No way!", the teenager replied. From the expression on Woody's face as he tells this story it's clear that's part of the fun.

Woody said, “As usual, luck was on my side and I had everything I wanted and I loved every minute of it.” He closed the business after the managers of Boston’s Downtown Crossing raised their rent from $150 a month to $1,500. Baldwin searched around, but didn’t find another area where he could make a profit. So, he actually ran the business for only two of the planned three years.