OUR GENERATION'S LEGACY
by Woody Baldwin

CHIRON RISING — June-July, 1990

It is only the members of the older generation of gays who are privileged to understand what the sexual liberation of the sixties has done to enrich the gay experience.

Today's young people have not had to live, to the extent we did, in the dreadful fear of discovery, which in itself would almost surely ruin a career, alienate the family and turn the well-meaning upstanding citizen into a leper-like loner. Today's gays enjoy freedom that yesterday's young gays could not even imagine.

There is still a long way to go before gays can be accepted as occupying a normal place in society. But, sad to say, even the liberated gay society has in general turned its back on the folks who endured the greatest hardships — yes, even fought the first battles for sexual freedom. If the guys who fought back at Stonewall are living today, they would probably be in their 50s at least. Heroes? They should be and they are in the legend; but, if today they walked into a bar populated with young men, would they be welcomed with open arms? You know the answer. And it is difficult for us to throw stones because in our day we were just as disrespectful of our elders, calling them "aunties" and "old queens." Not only are older men not respected, they are even made to feel unwelcome in their own society. Intimidated? You bet! Frustrated? You bet! Bitter? In most cases, you bet!

We're all still fighting for freedom of sexual orientation. But as older men, we have one more battle to fight, and you — yes, you — can be a hero on that battlefield. People like Albert Schweitzer or Martin Luther King were not super humans. They were composed of the same parts as you and I. One would doubt that either of them, when they embarked on their humanitarian objectives, expected to occupy a place in history of revered and respected immortality. They saw a need and they did something about it.

I am not suggesting that we should all be an Albert Schweitzer — or even a Harvey Milk, Leonard Matlovich or John McNeill — but, in the battle to bring the older gays the acceptance they deserve you — yes, you — can make a difference.

"It is within our grasp to be the generation that brought respect to older men."

Pat Colley and “The Friar” helped pioneer the movement to bring recognition, respect and a feeling of worth to the older generation of gays and bisexuals. They made us feel desirable again. Pat and “The Friar” aren't super humans either, even though they are super nice guys. They are everyday fellows like you and me who had a dream. Like the heroes, they saw a need and did something about it.

In my own small way, I've erased a guilt feeling I had about the fact that others were fighting the battles for my gay rights while I hid in my secure closet. In 1987 I started Prime Timers, the organization for older gay and bisexual men. Even though I have realized only a fraction of what I wanted to achieve before my number comes up, I have the satisfaction of having started a small snowball that is slowly becoming a bit bigger. With each passing year I have hope that within my lifetime I will see a  nationwide network of Prime Timers chapters and will be able to say, "I made a contribution." Because of PRIME TIMERS, my  retirement years are richer than I ever dreamed possible, and I am sure I am a much younger septuagenarian than I would have been if I had not embarked on this life-enriching commitment to bringing social opportunities to older gay and bisexual men.

Through Chiron Rising, Prime Timers and similar organizations, a beginning has been made to bring dignity to older men and it is gaining momentum, strength, size and importance. Here is the important message: It is within our grasp to be the generation that brought respect to older men.

In every population center are untold numbers of lonely older men who have fallen between the cracks of gay society and would love to read about and enjoy companionship with other men. Do you realize that in this same community there are many lonely older men who have lost their long-term mates and desperately need to meet other similar men to share their experiences and to lighten their loads? They can't discuss. their loneliness with family the way “straights” can. Do you realize that there are many lonely older male couples who hunger for companionship of other simpatico men of their vintage? They would even travel if they knew they had friends in other places.

Do you want to enjoy the feeling that you made a difference? It is possible. Maybe you don't feel you've enjoyed that fifteen minutes of fame that Andy Warhol said everyone has. But you can still have it. It doesn't take education; it doesn't take money. It takes guts and commitment. You could introduce your friends to CHIRON RISING, or organize the older gay and bisexual men in your community into a chapter of PRIME TIMERS, or urge your local gay newspaper to write about both organizations as a public service. You could contribute not only to the life enrichment of many guys, but to your own sense of accomplishment and pleasure as well. You would have paid your debt to society; perhaps most importantly, you would have helped to raise forever the class of older men from the pits to their rightful place in society.

We've all known men who have become very bitter toward gay society. Rejection is not easy to take with a smile. But if enough of us decided we could make a difference by bringing pleasure to the older men in our community, we could make life a lot more rewarding — not only for our own generation but coming ones as well.

Bringing older men back into a respected place in the mainstream of gay society is within our reach as at no other time in history. Give a damn! Exert some effort and accept my money-back guarantee that you'll have a whole new outlook on old age, on being gay or bisexual, on life itself! Do it for yourself; do it for your less fortunate peers; do it for the present and future gay societies. But do it. The older fellows we bring back into the gay society may well be the swing votes that will get gay rights in your city or state.

There are literally tens of thousands of men out there who want to meet you either through correspondence or in person. You' are desirable to many more people than you realize. Publications and clubs for older men are taking us oldsters off the shelf and into the mainstream. You'll feel younger. Life will become less monotonous. You'll meet other vibrant, sexually active, caring people who are anxious to stay healthy, happy, independent and productive for a long time to come.

If you're retired or thinking about retirement, you have been told repeatedly to keep busy. Maybe it has become a cliché that you choose to ignore. Listen and heed! It is more than true; it is gospel. And what better way to stay active than to contribute to a better world for gays and bisexuals, yourself included.

The movement to bring dignity to older men has started. You can be a part of bringing it to fruition. Shakespeare said that all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players.

Don't settle for being just a player; help write the play!